You...you're joking...

Right? This has got to be a joke. You can't possibly be serious.


I want to rant for about 1000 words, but somehow ...they fail me.

Oh well...back to the old standby then...


That's. Fucking. Stupid.

Hello...

To anyone who came over to our shitty, lazy, rant space from HCwDB.

I never post on here because I'm always over there as Douche Gordon.

Uhhh...

The wonders never cease.

And really, I don't know what I have more issue with...

Bush, or the headline with "Nuke-less" in it.

C'mon CNN...

Oh, that's rich...

In this SI.com article...

"that intimidation and obscenities have no place at sports events"?

Really?

Really?

Are you fucking stupid?

Ok, look. I think most (NOT ALL, FUCKING PAY ATTENTION) football fans are boorish morons. And they are. That's not a subjective viewpoint. That's a fucking fact. However, football (and pro-wresting, and NASCAR) is entertainment for the plebes. And I want my plebes boorish and moronic. Easier to control that way, easier to fool. I also want women who are stupid enough to go to football games to also be stupid enough to actually show there breasts to the crowd. Keep on keeping those idiots distracted. That way, humanity can never progress. Yaaaay!

We are so smart, SMRT...

We are lazy. We are fucking stupid. However, some people are not.

www.crapsucks.com

Look for us coming back strong here...and us posting there as well, if you love us so much.

Freedom of speech and religion? Here's your spokesperson...

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/31/funeral.protest/index.html

And also, understand, that while normal people think that's fucking stupid (and crazy)...Phelps and his gang are only one click off of "mainstream" Christians.

It's easy for you to rationalize this...you're good at pretending...

Weather Fucks

SO... The duration of the news tonight was our "crack" team of "reporters" watching video of rain and wind and describing the darkness of the clouds. Have we really reached that level of retardation throughout the nation?! Fuck them. Oh BTFW ... you fucking failures, we have real issues in this country that warrant discussion, awareness and motherfucking attention. I don't even want to detail a fucking list you fucking ingrate, inbred, self-obsessed fuck ducks. Fuck you and your "reporting". And then having suburban rubes call in and gab about the torrential hellfire falling from the heavens. "My lawn done be real good and wet now and I think the water is making it wet. I just ate my sparkplugs for din-din"

"Oooh-weee. The rain dun fall down real hard it does. Wind make rain go wild fast fall down time. My lone lobe is been replaced by bubblewrap and I respect a mongoloid presidential man real good now."

Fuck...

"Don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows"

Girls who (pretend to) like football.

It's football season, and while the Guy Who Says So wouldn't sacrifice a rat to save the sport of football, (America as Rome, football as gladiatorial combat, enjoy, plebes) there is one thing that does bother him. Otherwise, intelligent, beautiful, capable and strong women pretending to like football, so they can be included and don't feel so bad when their boyfriends, husbands and fuck buddies spend 97% of one of the most beautiful seasons of the year in the fucking house drinking beer and watching a bunch of idiots run into each other. Let's be clear. I don't *hate* football. Sports can be fun, and at least football hasn't been ruining itself as a sport as quickly as the others. (Baseball? You're on notice...basketball was long gone at the turn of the century.)

Unless you are a girl who looks like a man...odds are very good that do don't *actually* like football. You're just pretending. You might have gone so far as to remember players from your "favorite" teams history. You might have taken otherwise useful brain power to memorize the starting lineup and specific stats. But you don't *really* care...you're just pretending. And it's not the pretending that's fucking stupid, it's the *reason* you're pretending. To fit in with the boys. This is not a sexist or misogynistic thing, female humans...in fact, quite the opposite. You're better than that, and you should know it.

So put away the fake grease smears, and your "favorite" teams "jersey", that you tie in a knot behind your back so you can show that you're not just a boy with long hair. Stop yelling yourself raw about shit you don't care about, stop wasting your energy in what is essentially a warped mating ritual. They boys will still come to you if you stop pretending to like football. If you are still in college and want to fuck a football player...or shit, even if you don't, odds are good that you get fucked by one anyway (date rape, the staple of college football players everywhere)...all you have to do is ask. They don't care if you like the game.

Epilogue: To the girls who really truly deeply love and enjoy football...um...that's fucking stupid?

Yeah. It is.

In general...

The people who believe spouting regurgitated pseudo-philosophical "wisdom" at anyone, let alone the people who you couldn't teach even if you had something original to say, is a constructive use of their possibly fertile imaginations.

Slight Adjustment

Fuck a break. I don't want a fucking break. I don't want someone to open the fucking door. I want to build the building. Install the door.. and kick down the fucking door. So.. Take your breaks .... i'm gonna break down the fucking door... because I am fucking better than a break. Double fuck you. Double. Do-u-ble.

The World

Just one break. Just one little fucking break. That's all we're grinding for. A simple fucking opportunity to show that we can fucking outperform. That's all.... fuck you.

Fuck that shit

That post crazy fuck called The Cupcake Who Says So... says this is his fucking blog. Fuck that shit. Fuck that shit all up and down the fucking wall. That's fucking weak. I'll fucking gut you like a fucking trout you bastard.

That's my blog for today. Fuck blogs. Fuck this blog. Fuck fuck you fuck.

Fuck.

Oh .. and fuck Senator Craig.. that's all he's looking for. Why doesn't sexy ass Rove just give him a nice little fucking rogering. Roger him like a trucker 'til he's over and out.

Fuck.

Oh where to begin...

A) New shit has come to light on the Republican In Bathroom Looking for Sex...turns out the thing that's fucking stupid is actually the cop towing for people trying to have sex in the bathroom...what...writing parking tickets was taken? I have solicited innumerable people for sex all over the fucking place. I'm just glad that chick at the bar the other night wasn't a cop. Jesus. Find some fucking real criminals.

2) Shut the fuck up about Micheal Vick. Nobody cares. Killed some dogs? He has also undoubtedly raped someone (pick a football player)...waaaah....he doesn't get to play football anymore. HEY! PLEBIANS! Find a new gladiator.

3) Everyone, and I do mean everyone, in our fucking federal government is fucking stupid. Oh, I am sure there are people with great degrees, and high IQs, and brains out the wazoo...but no one is fucking using them anymore.

a) This "presidential race"...I think we can all agree...is out of fucking hand. They all need to GO BACK TO THEIR JOBS for a bit. Please. We'll hear from you NEXT FUCKING SEPTEMBER...and not a minute before.

b) Really. Gay marriage? Again?

c) VIOLENCE DOES NOT MEAN NO SUCCESS.

Need I say more?

Afraid of being gay?

If you are a United States Senator, and you are caught giving someone the old "nudge nudge, wink wink" in an airport bathroom...why is it the first thing you say is "I just want everyone to know I'm not gay!"...A) Thou doth protest too much. B) I don't care if you're gay. C) How about apologizing for the behavior, you fucking idiot?

ALSO. You're gay. This much is clear. And since you are obviously a life-long closet case, how the fuck do you not read the signals and realize that your advances are unwelcome?

That's the mostest fuckingist stupidist thing about this. You should know how to do it by now. It's obviously not the first time.

Scientology...

Is just really fucking stupid. I mean, lots of religions are fucking retarded, from 10-armed elephants to illiterate playboys to contradictory white bearded mofos in the clouds....but at least those have history and tradition...not that that makes it ok...

Opinion Polls

Why are news programs constantly asking uneducated, uniformed, ignorant people questions on which they have no frame of reference? 57% of people polled think it would be bad to leave Iraq...54% of people think the current economic situation is due to solar flares. 84% of people believe there is a giant angry gnome in the clouds dictating life as we know it. Really? REALLY? Is that your years of foreign policy making paired with your economics and plasma physics degree speaking inside of your omniscient view of the Universe? Or are you just a reactionary dumbass? I wonder...

Lapsing on the blogging...

Why did we do that? It was fucking stupid.

Not having fun at the movies.

No one loves movies more than The Guy Who Says So. Trust. He loves good movies, he loves bad movies, he loves bad good movies and good bad movies. He ALSO loves film, which is an entirely different thing than movies. Very few films are movies, and very few movies are films. Films are art. Movies are entertainments. Like a roller coaster. Or a hooker.

So, people who refuse to enjoy ENTERTAINMENTS are, what? That's right. Fucking stupid. For no other reason than they cannot or will not see the difference.

That said, "Transformers" rocked so hard I had a boner for an hour after.

Almost a week without a fucking fuck blog

Fuck that shit. That shit is shitard stupid.

11:30.....

I have to be up in 6 hours......

who wants another beer.

My Prayers go out...

to the families of the people that cross me today. i am fucking poisonous. but the new White Stripes album is out... so at least I have a soundtrack. i'll crack jaws and punch necks to the beat.

Fuck being nice today

I'm gonna stomp on people's feet.

Potty Mouths

People who think "fuck" is not a good dinner word. Fuck you and your fucking opinion. And fucking try and tell me I sound fucking stupid when I say fuck, seriously fuck you. I will use the word fuck like the Smurfs say "smurf"...Matter of fact, they should have been called "Fucks", not "Smurfs". It would have been way cooler. And I would let me kids watch it so every time they saw someone like you they would say fuck off you fucking fuck, go fuck yourself. FUCK!!!!!!

Seriously count how many times I just said fuck...

And go fuck yourself.

How is it possible?

How long has this site been up?

I still don't see anything about Bush.

Weird!

Alright seriously though. Who wants to take the first stab?
Or do we just have to mention the name, and don't have to say anything?

Saying "Prayers going out" on national news programs...

Look, we all know I hate organized religion. It's detrimental to the growth and advancement of humanity. That's how I feel. You don't have to like it, you don't have to feel that way. However. Those who believe in one religion, have to agree that there is not just one religion. Now, you can be truly ignorant and say that there is only one "true" religion, and then I hope that there is actually a hell, and not yours, so you'll be sure to end up there. So. Since there are many religions, I think that people assume that all religions believe in the "power of prayer". This is A) not true, and B) very Anglo-Judeo-Christian of you. (Yes, I just called you a stupid white Christian.) Furthermore, there are those of us that believe those who rest solely on the "power of prayer" are wishful at best, and ignorant at worse. My point is this. DON'T REFER TO PERSONAL RELIGIOUS BELIEFS ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. It's rude at best and fucking stupid at worst.

Emo Kids

If you borrow your girlfriends pants...

I don't have to go on, do I?

Buffets...

Seriously, if you weighed 400lbs and couldn't walk would you still go to a buffet and yell at someone for taking the last bit of crab legs, while you are on your seventh plate? Seriously, sit you fat ass down and shut the fuck up. Better yet, stand the fuck up and lose some goddamned weight.

Fat bouncers

Have you ever had the fat bouncer in the club that is hitting on the cute girl, so you buy her a drink and dance with her as soon as you can get her away from the dickhead? But then he kicks you out anyway! Fuck him and his ability to kick out whoever he wants.

Cingular/ATT

Look, I understand that cellular/digital service is a incredibly complicated technological service. I do. But my understanding of the technological wonder that is mobile communications is not going to stay my wrath for shitty service. I am in a major metro area, surrounded by towers, and my very nice smartphone STILL doesn't work. I move two inches, the call drops. Do we need a tower in my fucking apartment? Stop spending your money on name changes and start fixing your service, you assholes. You are so lucky you have the iPhone, you motherfuckers.

Frat boys

Striped polos, white Hollister hats, and torn jeans. Going out in public dressed like you picked the outfit out for your friend, and he picks yours out, and you both are happy that you think alike. WOW......thats fucking stupid.

Better Than You.

So.... walking around drunk the other day. Ok, almost just back to my room, a man walks up to me and asks if I want to go to church. Well, this is not uncommon, but then he realizes I am drunk. I then tell him I am gay. He then takes back his invite, tells me my life-style is wrong, but he will pray for me and walks away. Needless to say, he didn't show me shit but that he is a stupid fucker. My father is a pastor and I am very straight, but he won't ever know that because all I was doing was checking his mud. So that's the basic. People who claim a religion but don't know shit about it, and then give it a bad name. (That's already been done, what religion doesn't have a bad name. you have all read the lower comment on organized religion, pretty much right on.) Seriously! How fucking stupid are these people going to be?

Pump Positivity

Tube tops

Do I even have to say it?

So I walk into Taco Bell yesterday. I order my order and the teller doesn't give me a drink. I then ask for a drink and she tells me that they are out of large cups so she assumed that I didn't want a drink. Are you fucking serious!!! Louisiana has the most retarded people grouped in one mass I have ever seen.

Fuck You

Yes... I'm aware I complained about fucking muggy weather. Fuck you. I am well known for preferring winter. Because I am fucking retard. Fuck you .. I don't need a reason. So officially I am one of only about a dozen motherfuckers that is allowed to bitch about the muggy bullshit. Fuck you. That's fucking stupid and I'm fucking stupid fucking.

Fucking Complainers.

So. In the winter. Everyone bitches about it being cold.

Sun comes bursting out for summer.. ready to warm everyone up.

And they bitch that it's too hot.

Fuck off. Take a fucking dip in the stupid pool. Buy a fucking fan. And fucking roll down the gotdamn windows on your fucking SUV and get some nice wind movement instead of cranking AC and emiting the foul gases out of every element of your life. Constantly belching out nonsense. Fuck you.

That's fucking stupid.

Organized Religion

You fucking heard me.

What is really fucking stupid.

People who have not had a hard day in there life, but seem to feel it is necessary to make days they feel are sooo HARD known to people that really shouldn't give a fuck. The following examples, Paris Hilton going to jail. Not a hard day. Brittany Spears shaving head because of a meltdown, she doesn't know what hard is. These are just a few. You see them every day and you should want to punch everyone who buys this shit in the face. The US should make a mandatory serving of two years in prison, and not a county lock-up like little Hilton, or two years in the service for people who bitch about life but have never experienced it. Then they will know what a fucking HARD day is.

Bongos at 12:43 in the morning.

Nuf' said.

Google Adsense

Denied us the ability to place Google ads for, and I quote:

"We did not approve your application for the reasons listed below.

Issues:

- Inappropriate language

---------------------

Further detail:

Inappropriate language: We've found that your website contains content that isn't in compliance with our program policies. We don't allow websites with excessive profanity or potentially offensive content to participate in Google AdSense. Please review our policies (https://www.google.com/adsense/policies?hl=en_US) for a complete list of site content not allowed on webpages."

Because people who buy things don't use "inappropriate language", or like to read websites with "inappropriate language", or watch movies or tv shows with "inappropriate language".

I'll give you some "inappropriate language".

Fuck you, Google Adsense. That's fucking stupid.

Ralph Lauren Black Ad

I'm not necessarily going to constantly going to bitch about shitty advertising on here...but this one...never mind Bulgari (excuse me...Bvlgari) has a cologne named "Black" (I mean, Bvlack)...but this incomprehensible piece of expensive, well-shot, sexy nonsense is the epitome of what is wrong with advertising today.

Sexy male trumpet player drives car at night to make out and smell sexy girl in evening dress at what appears to be mid-day? He has nice hair? She's very pretty? There's some jazz?

That's fucking stupid.

CNN

Stop watching it! ... That's fucking stupid.

Sony vs. The Church of England

Ok...two instances of man's stupidity, religion and POV shooter video games, clashing is kind of amusing. I'm glad I know about it. CNN, good job. (For this 15 minutes of news). What I DO think is fucking stupid is how the Church of England is up in arms about the Manchester Cathedral being used in a game.

A) There is no god.
B) If there was, he wouldn't give a shit about the bunch of rocks you stuck together in his honor. Also, he'd probably love to play video games, if he wasn't a figment of your imagination created by people who wanted to control the populace and repress the growth and enlightenment of humanity.
C) How did you find out about this? Which priest/patron is playing Fall of Man? If there was a god, he wouldn't care if you played video games, but we're not going by reality, we're going by man's interpretation of god's will...in which a sin of the mind (shooting someone, i.e. moiiidur) is the same as a sin of the flesh, so, by your own rules, playing a game in which you shoot people, or mutants, or otherwise unworldly but possibly intelligent creatures is AGAINST THE RULES. All I ask, certainly on deaf ears, is that you not be hypocrites.
D) It's a fucking video game. Who cares? Blow some bugs up in the cathedral. IT'S NOT REAL.

Religion has been fucking up shit since it's inception...maybe Sony can tell em to stick it, but I doubt it. And?

That's fucking stupid.

Who? WHO?

Larry Birkhead? Really? We didn't have enough news coverage of a completely inconsequential person with all the Anna Nicole bullshit? Now we have to watch an acquaintance of the completely inconsequential person on CNN?

I'm trying not to yell. It wasn't news before. It's not news now. Take it off the tv.

WHY DO I EVEN HAVE TO KNOW HIS FUCKING NAME? THAT'S FUCKING STUPID! AAAARRRRGGGG!

I tried. I tried.

Muggy Weather

Is fucking awful. Who needs it? Who likes it? You do? Fuck you.

Going for the record...

Of saying "fuck" or some variant thereof. Wonder what we'd have to hit?

Because I said I would...

And because it is fucking stupid.

The overabundance of unnecessary "No Turn On Red" signs in Minneapolis.

Also, most of the drivers in Minneapolis are fucking stupid.

Don't worry...we'll all get over saying "fucking stupid" soon enough.

But not too soon.

Fuck Hostel Fuck Eli Roth

I want to catch that bastard and put him through the same fucking torture he purveys as entertainment.. that weaseldick punk bitch. Not seriously though... because that's a threat. But, seriously hypothetically. Fuck him.

Fuck Blogs

I hate blogs so hard. I hate them so hard it's like a hate fuck.

Oh, worst of the worst.

Paris Hilton coverage. You know what? I don't think Paris is fucking stupid. Sure, she pulls some dumbass moves every now and then...and frankly she probably likes the coverage...but the news stations...they just won't quit.

CNN. For the last time. A celebrity dying, overdosing, going to rehab, drinking, speeding, or picking their nose IS NOT FUCKING NEWS.

There's a fucking stupid war on, half the people in charge are fucking stupid, and if their not stupid, they're evil, and there is PLENTY to be reporting on that is not a celebrity.

Got it?

News Coverage for this TB Guy.

That's enough. It's one guy. CNN must have done at LEAST 3 hours of coverage on this today.

That's fucking stupid.

Why?

Why waste your time and energy bitching about stuff? Because it's fun. Don't say it's not. Don't say I'm poisoning the universe with negative energy. That's fucking stupid. I'm tired of the evil shit, the douchebags, fake celebrity, the news cycle, and all the other shit you are going to read about me ranting and railing about. You don't have to like it. You don't have to read it either. Bitching about me bitching? That's fucking stupid. And hypocritical. Just don't come here. I don't want to see comments bitching about my bitching. I don't want to see comments bitching about shit that's NOT fucking stupid. I'll tell you what's fucking stupid. I DO want to see comments bitching about stuff. Want me to bitch about something for you? Just leave me a comment. I can bitch all day.

Internet Dating? Fucking Stupid.

If you are so much of a tool that you have to use internet dating, we're done.

This goes for any "matchmaking" service, phone, internet, newspaper, magazine, any form of periodical, bathroom walls, or otherwise.

Smart people don't need matchmaking services. They figure out what's wrong with them, fix it, then get a partner, or at least have some sex, OR they realize there is no "fixing it", and get a sweet hobby or just be happy with themselves.

Just to get it out of the way...

I know there's a fucking apostrophe in the conjunction for "that is", "that's".

You can't use apostrophes in web addresses.

And I am allowed to misspell, misuse, and otherwise be grammatically dysfunctional as much as I like.