Weather Fucks

SO... The duration of the news tonight was our "crack" team of "reporters" watching video of rain and wind and describing the darkness of the clouds. Have we really reached that level of retardation throughout the nation?! Fuck them. Oh BTFW ... you fucking failures, we have real issues in this country that warrant discussion, awareness and motherfucking attention. I don't even want to detail a fucking list you fucking ingrate, inbred, self-obsessed fuck ducks. Fuck you and your "reporting". And then having suburban rubes call in and gab about the torrential hellfire falling from the heavens. "My lawn done be real good and wet now and I think the water is making it wet. I just ate my sparkplugs for din-din"

"Oooh-weee. The rain dun fall down real hard it does. Wind make rain go wild fast fall down time. My lone lobe is been replaced by bubblewrap and I respect a mongoloid presidential man real good now."

Fuck...

"Don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows"

Girls who (pretend to) like football.

It's football season, and while the Guy Who Says So wouldn't sacrifice a rat to save the sport of football, (America as Rome, football as gladiatorial combat, enjoy, plebes) there is one thing that does bother him. Otherwise, intelligent, beautiful, capable and strong women pretending to like football, so they can be included and don't feel so bad when their boyfriends, husbands and fuck buddies spend 97% of one of the most beautiful seasons of the year in the fucking house drinking beer and watching a bunch of idiots run into each other. Let's be clear. I don't *hate* football. Sports can be fun, and at least football hasn't been ruining itself as a sport as quickly as the others. (Baseball? You're on notice...basketball was long gone at the turn of the century.)

Unless you are a girl who looks like a man...odds are very good that do don't *actually* like football. You're just pretending. You might have gone so far as to remember players from your "favorite" teams history. You might have taken otherwise useful brain power to memorize the starting lineup and specific stats. But you don't *really* care...you're just pretending. And it's not the pretending that's fucking stupid, it's the *reason* you're pretending. To fit in with the boys. This is not a sexist or misogynistic thing, female humans...in fact, quite the opposite. You're better than that, and you should know it.

So put away the fake grease smears, and your "favorite" teams "jersey", that you tie in a knot behind your back so you can show that you're not just a boy with long hair. Stop yelling yourself raw about shit you don't care about, stop wasting your energy in what is essentially a warped mating ritual. They boys will still come to you if you stop pretending to like football. If you are still in college and want to fuck a football player...or shit, even if you don't, odds are good that you get fucked by one anyway (date rape, the staple of college football players everywhere)...all you have to do is ask. They don't care if you like the game.

Epilogue: To the girls who really truly deeply love and enjoy football...um...that's fucking stupid?

Yeah. It is.

In general...

The people who believe spouting regurgitated pseudo-philosophical "wisdom" at anyone, let alone the people who you couldn't teach even if you had something original to say, is a constructive use of their possibly fertile imaginations.

Slight Adjustment

Fuck a break. I don't want a fucking break. I don't want someone to open the fucking door. I want to build the building. Install the door.. and kick down the fucking door. So.. Take your breaks .... i'm gonna break down the fucking door... because I am fucking better than a break. Double fuck you. Double. Do-u-ble.

The World

Just one break. Just one little fucking break. That's all we're grinding for. A simple fucking opportunity to show that we can fucking outperform. That's all.... fuck you.

Fuck that shit

That post crazy fuck called The Cupcake Who Says So... says this is his fucking blog. Fuck that shit. Fuck that shit all up and down the fucking wall. That's fucking weak. I'll fucking gut you like a fucking trout you bastard.

That's my blog for today. Fuck blogs. Fuck this blog. Fuck fuck you fuck.

Fuck.

Oh .. and fuck Senator Craig.. that's all he's looking for. Why doesn't sexy ass Rove just give him a nice little fucking rogering. Roger him like a trucker 'til he's over and out.

Fuck.

Oh where to begin...

A) New shit has come to light on the Republican In Bathroom Looking for Sex...turns out the thing that's fucking stupid is actually the cop towing for people trying to have sex in the bathroom...what...writing parking tickets was taken? I have solicited innumerable people for sex all over the fucking place. I'm just glad that chick at the bar the other night wasn't a cop. Jesus. Find some fucking real criminals.

2) Shut the fuck up about Micheal Vick. Nobody cares. Killed some dogs? He has also undoubtedly raped someone (pick a football player)...waaaah....he doesn't get to play football anymore. HEY! PLEBIANS! Find a new gladiator.

3) Everyone, and I do mean everyone, in our fucking federal government is fucking stupid. Oh, I am sure there are people with great degrees, and high IQs, and brains out the wazoo...but no one is fucking using them anymore.

a) This "presidential race"...I think we can all agree...is out of fucking hand. They all need to GO BACK TO THEIR JOBS for a bit. Please. We'll hear from you NEXT FUCKING SEPTEMBER...and not a minute before.

b) Really. Gay marriage? Again?

c) VIOLENCE DOES NOT MEAN NO SUCCESS.

Need I say more?